FreeThink: Reflections, Criticisms and Emotion

THE ROAD HOME JERONE CANSINO Along this road I roll my wheel The sun is peeking down my trail The fields of green the sky of blue Sparrows to their nest they flew Thoughts are bothered as clouds of rain My heart is bothered I'm in pain Far away my mind has gone Acting I, without a plan My mind is on your innocent face Please give me love please give me grace The angelic voice I want to hear The evil silence that I fear I stopped my bike I look around I closed my eyes to hear the birds I headed home my heart is sore I headed home, I headed home

Desperation Jerone Cansino Let me tell how much I care Let me hug you tight my dear Let me wait, our time to come Let me be, your slave, your man Far the distance, I don't care In, this vow I'm sure will stay Take me in, inside your heart Let my heart, to you I give Oh please babe, please be with me Oh please babe, do not leave me Alone I feel, I'm beaten hard You are crushing now my heart I'll sing to you if you're afraid To hold your hands is what I crave I'll wrap you with my long strong arms Behind your back I will embrace All my dreams with you I share All my plans I let you hear All this love to you I give With all my life, I do I plead Waiting time is long I know Parting time, is coming slow Will I smile or should I beg? Or will I stand to look ahead? The sun now setting down on west Cool winds blowing now my face The birds now sing the evening song My tears now roll I am alone It i...

Just when we thought that we are self sufficient, that everything can go and leave with ease. Just when we think that life is a long line that leads up something will pop out and will tell you that you're wrong. You look back and you see your failures dragging your pants and mockingly laughing at you. Times change. It's difficult to accept that the clock runs fast and we fall short our goals. Seeing everything crumble and the feeling that you would rather choose to be buried deep into the crust of the earth. Looking at the stars and asking why they exist, going deep inside yourself seeing nothing but an empty tablet worthless as it seems. We learn from time we must be quick. Listen to the sound of the evening wind hear him tell you that you're tired. Listen to the sound of the birds as the sing their songs of the morning. Look at the beauty of the sunset and hear the sounds of the waves as they reach the beach. Listen to the whispers of your heart but do not neglect your ...

When everything turns to be a burden When everything to seems to be dragging you down When everyone is doubting When everyone fails to understand When every steps pulls us into the bottom of something deeper and darker beyond our comprehension When everything is getting out of hand When you feel alone in the darkest corner of the earth while being chased by monsters beyond your control When overwhelmed by your weakness being nailed and pinned to the ground by your past When everything is just not enough I don't want everything I just want to be what I want to be

Jerone Cansino He opened the gate and let you in Your face your cheek your eyes Iv'e seen You smiled I smile, I smiled inside I watched you speak I saw your soul  Your laugh, your voice, your wits, your mind I am consumed! the butterflies! I fall, I fly We talk some talks exchange of words I laugh you laughed I follow your lips someone howled we left the place We laughed again we're used to it You got home, I waved my hand,  watched you go I looked above, I wished to God The morning breaks the sun rose up I stood I smiled there is still hope,  The day has passed I skipped two meals Now evening comes I grew ablaze Above the camp as campfire glow The quadro pad the boy scout songs The books we have read and poetry in mind The cool winds whispers, the night stars dance. The juniors initiated we laugh at them the midnight came our time closed in We rode the nigh to bring you home We mourn, we've sung the happy song I wa...

HULI KA BALBON! Philippines had been making noise these past days.After #aldub or should I say along with Adldub, well I do not actually recall the exact detail of the series of news when it exactly started... the laglag bala scheme made an international issue. Complementing the prior verdict to NAIA (NINOY AQUINO INTERNATIONAL AIR PORT) as the worse airport in the planet the former is fast becoming the laglag bala capital of the whole world. I don't have any specific data or anything about the laglag bala. All I know is it comes like this. One stupid bastard would plant a bullet in somebody bag. Then as a result of that very kind act. The x-ray machine would tell the morons in the airport security that there is a bullet in a bag. And then somebody somebody with a genius mind and a rotten heart (security personnel) will offer an option for the person two options. Whether the victim would pay the price of being the victim (through currency), and the second prove himself innoce...

ALDUB has accomplished a such a feat over a short period of time. It started when Alden Richards appeared on the television while Yaya Dub (Maine Mendoza) is performing her jolly dub smash performance. The girls was disturbed by something that is popular today as 'pabebe way' it gave birth to a new nation inside of a sagging nation. its called #aldub nation. Who would have thought that in less than 24 hours they have garnered a record breaking tweet count in #twitter that is roughly 6.4+ million (I'm not sure though I do not really care) Actually I never knew #Maine (Yaya Dub) before this insanity started same thing applies to #Alden. My regard for them since then is like how a typical 21st century teen would view the classical music genre. I have nothing bad on them though I admire the concept of #tamangpanahon or (waiting for the right time) unlike the #bugaw #serye of the other network where #pastillas #girl is being paired with different kinds of men from all wa...

My cousin who happens to be a year younger than me had just got married. Now he had just bound himself inside a curse that I myself is not willing to take. Not unless I get a Palanca award or maybe I could get even one of my book published. I'm just thinking I have been bitter but I like it. I found joy in enjoying my life with my friends and being independent from any bonds that would limit me.  There is something in freedom that I am not willing to give away (especially to women. They are the craziest creature and they are the breaker of dreams not to mention the jealous ones) Others could not just understand me that I am enjoying my life and I am indeed enjoying it more than I enjoyed my life being bonded by someone. Of course there is something wonderful in love (eros) but I could just not compare it to being free. Maybe I am now in the stage of my life where I am faced with ann option to be with someone and stay alone until I get old and die. (Ericson psychosocial conflict I...

Heavy rain. I have wrote small additions to my stories. I have found a way how to sustain my ever shifting mood in writing. I am currently working on 5 different stories simultaneously. I am doing editions on NBPSJ. I took away boring parts and added more humor. I am loving the themes of my other stories but I don't know If I could still finish these new titles. I am having difficulty managing my time. The Department of Education is like my ex-girlfriend. It demands much from me. I played basketball. I won a game scored points and rewarded with bruises and body aches. Been hit by swinging arms of the opponent that I defend. Boxed out and felt down and bled. I won't agree if could not get even I hit him him with my shoulder. Its a direct hit on his jaw (unintentionally of course but it feels good) and the game ended happily after they won. I got home. Ate a sumptuous meal with my parents Bonbon and my brother. The meal was backed up by their nagging about my breakup. What ca...

#stress #K-12 #INSET #sembreak Been in the seminar for three days, actually that should have been five days but I decided to help my Alma-matter BPCS (Brooke's Point Central School) in their School Encampment. What I had just learned is that I have been stuck in a field that is a million miles away from my comfort zone. Given the fact that I am a newly hired teacher and never had any k-12 training that made me land on an unfamiliar territory. I had just learned that teaching the grade three is not really about the content but of literacy. I have been killing my pupils not realizing that I am treating a headache with loperamide capsules. I remember I can't help being frustrated with my students because they can't cope up with me and I don't know how to start reaching down for them. I'm just thinking of why is the framers of this present curriculum put too much pain and burden in grades 1-3 if their main concern is literacy? The life of the pupils could have been...

It has been a long time since I posted something. Actually Iv'e been very busy about thing that I'm not really fond of. I feel guilty about missing my journals and my blogs. I hate It but being a teacher is synonymous to plunging yourself into a den of hatred and stress. That's how I view it. I miss college instruction even though there are times that my students for me is not even qualified to pass high school. Things are worse especially on remote areas. Had some hatred rising against the K-12 curriculum. I think there should be some adjustment to be considered in geographically challenged community schools. Well for now, my voice is still weak. Who will hear a teacher 1 that was just hired not more than 4 months? Adding to this is the government websites that match the phase of our country's economic growth and judicial system. Well, things is expected in going worse. I hope that this coming election can make some change. Good thing I'm now involved in sports. I ...

Just when I thought that I know everything about teaching, I realized that what I read is different from what will really happen. I just finished printing my classroom decorations. And my teacher profile. I haven't started my lesson plans yet. Writing has been a difficult thing for me now. My mind has been very busy the whole day. I'm beginning to realize that 24 hours is not being enough for me. I failed to add any idea to any of my stories now. I will take my time to rest and try writing early next morning. My mind was never been as occupied as this. I made a reading assessment this afternoon. Most of my students doesn't have the ability to read English. Went with them to fetch water from a faraway river. Because I became bored at the sight of my classroom. I realized that it was not a good idea. In my estimates it was almost a kilometer. Still on planning my career never been as committed as this. For know, my writing, the ministry and my job will be my life.

What happened today? I woke up the usual time. I think that was 9 or 10 Am. I don't care. I am enjoying my self. Once I get my job order, my life will be different. I could compare it to be closer in hell. I was once a college instructor, I see this one a new challenge. I like challenge though. My enthusiasm for it is similar to an atheist studying the basic doctrines of the Bible. After lunch, I went to a mill to process a 99 kg rice. I got home of course. I went to sea-back played basketball with the Pong-pong and some sea-back boys.  Before I left played one on one with Jun jun that was a game. I could tell it by the body pains that I have now. After I am contented with my body pains, I went to plaza and played another game. Went home because of some good news. Brownout again. The electricity came back. I'm happy now. As of now, I'll be back writing lies.

A thought came into my mind earlier this evening, as I am pondering about a thing called success. A thing that is being chased by everyone, including me of course. I Just realized that success is not an end. It's not like a coffee bean that is packed and sold on supermarkets. And when it happens, it marks the end of it. Success is A process, its a journey. success is the act of being happy while doing what you do. Doing your passion with a little regard for what you can get from it. Success is about happiness. One of the greatest thing that happened to me this day, or should I say, last day, because technically as I am writing this post, it's already 1:00 in the morning is @Sthompsonauthor #Scott Thompson followed me on twitter. 'm not the kind of fanatic guy but for me having a connection with this kind of person is a great help for greatest fantasy. I would never forget his tweet to me.  @ jcans_13 Start writing short stories. Be sure to read and write every day.  Ba...

JERONE AVEL S. CANSINO A life, a name, identity, pain Glory, power, wealth a bane Dream, pursue, and act with faith Unleash yourself, your fate you make Sorrow might be, on your way But, likewise joy, in you will stay Higher, further, push your way And lower, lower that head I say From white to black, the hue, does change Smile comes in, as sorrow fade Toils and labor, is deemed to end As life draws nearing final stage Rejoice! In victory shout and sing! Mourn on defeat, and rise again. The end will come it surely will. Prepare for it, but be still, still.

I just watched interviews of JK Rowling, Dan Brown and David Baldacci. I did it because of a reason. I want to know their stories. Not the stories of their life, but the story of their success. How they did their stuff. I’m really moved by what happened to JK Rowling in her early life. It gave me hope that, she was 25 when she started writing Harry Potter. Well for now, my success is like the Yamashita treasures. I think it is still mythical. But I would like to continue though. I might not be a fulltime writer but I will write. I will write my examinations, my master’s thesis and Ph.D. dissertations. I will write some stupid things, such as solution for the deeply rooted corruption. I would also write about more important things such as, whether I will buy a new motorcycle or settle with my old sagging one. Definitely there is so much to write. One I learned of David Baldacci, it is easier to create truth than of searching for one. Then my plan is write the truth. Well for me everyth...

What happens if you want to something but you just can't do it. What happens when you tried and tried but every effort you have exerted seems to be worthless? What happens when the only thing you recognize is frustration?  Sometimes, what I hate in setting a goal is frustration which I think is common to everyone who dreams. It's just hard accepting the fact that you are being defeated? Why is it that we are chasing success? Why not let success choose you? It it ever possible? Why am I asking myself these questions? Why the hell am I doing this blog? Why do I like to be a writer? Why torture my mind doing such things? I'm a teacher, it so happened that I passed the Licensure Examination in a score that is somewhat, I prefer to call promising. I took oath, the first day of July this year for a plantilla position. Should I be proud of it?  I am a person who is easily contented, I would take teaching as my career. But not, teaching is my job and writing is my calling. ...

The difference between a story and a reality is the fact that a story ends in a point that is decided by the author. He can end it after the resolution of conflicts. For an instance, when the boy decides to condemn himself in a curse that is commonly called a wedding so that they can live happily ever after, before they rest in peace. In a typical Filipino plot for example that has been around for decades, you can know that the story is ending when the hero has killed the villain and the police arrived so that the leading lady can kiss his man. When all the monsters are killed, when the protagonist survives and the favorite line of fairy tale fans “And they lived happily ever after” appear or heard. All of the previous examples are happy endings as we call today. It is a typical behavior that are not amused when the main character dies. We hate tragedies. Tragedy is characterized by one thing. According to my English teacher, tragedy does not have a happy ending. The death of tit...

JERONE CANSINO The star so high, they were so bright This warm water! The wind! The chills! A night. Everything is dark, but behold what beauty! My eyes close, but I tell you. This sea! This fine sands they move below my feet. The chilling wind! Go tame this heat. The water sounds, Hear it in my ear. May it be forever that I stay here.

Batalino: Two Faces of My Girlfriend; Random thoughts : For I the fourth time, I watched the Korean movie entitled “Two Faces of My Girlfriend”. The first time I watched it because boredom is kill...

For I the fourth time, I watched the Korean movie entitled “Two Faces of My Girlfriend”. The first time I watched it because boredom is killing me, the second time has the same reason so as the third time. This time I am with my cousin and boredom is striking again the only difference with this time is that I am not alone. I’m not Actually I’m not a big fan of Koreans especially the K-Pop but I always admire their plots. I like the conflict, I like the resolution.  I like actress who gave life to the character of Anni, and of course, the one who played the role of Guchang that crazy fellow and his three friends who are I think are interesting characters. Generally it was a wonderful film. I really like the theme. Its talks about the deeper sense about the human existence. I admire how the film depicts a love that is so unselfish and powerful. The film made an exception with my stereotype hatred about leading men who can’t give justice to their leading women (I’m speaking t about ...